一颗漂泊的心

2007/8/1

从早上就在盼望下雨，却总能看到顶上炽热的太阳，这才刚进门，打雷了，起风了，下雨了
康总说：要是没有了崔姐姐和小丫头，我也不想在北京待了。和康总一样，我在一个城市里待着，完全是因为这里的人，还有习惯使然，事业和前程从来都不是我考虑的第一位。
我喜欢我住的城市里有我最喜欢的人，哪怕一年半载才联系那么一次，哪怕再也不联系了，哪怕他们根本就不知道我喜欢他们，只要他/她在，就好。如果康总和大勇猪不在北京了，我想我也会走的。
我知道我所要的是什么，从小到大都没有变过，我一直试图给自己找到安全感，那个能安安静静睡个好觉，做个好梦的地方，这种感觉我从家人朋友直至我自己身上都找过，发现根本不存在，所以我是悲观地面对世间一切的。因为这样，害怕改变，害怕搬家，害怕迁移，害怕跳槽，害怕失恋，害怕分别。
这个城市，待太久了就会有窒息的感觉，经常会让我有逃离的冲动；这个城市，太大了又太小了，经常会给你意想不到的“surprise”；这个城市，不断地带来一些人，又带走一些人。
去年大妞去香港念书，我着实难过了好一阵，现在JMM也要去了，春天回到成都父母的身边了，霖跑到杭州西湖边开始了新的工作，娃娃嫂嫂说可能要回南京了，yuke要去上海了……很难过，很难过
每次打电话给他说我不想在北京待了，都会被骂回来：死丫头，又失恋了吧？这次也很想打个电话唠叨唠叨，但真的不是因为失恋，想想，也许是越来越强烈的漂泊感吧
也许，像我这样喜欢出差，住酒店睡得比家中还香的人，异乡的客栈才能带来些许的安全感吧，而这样的人，有的肯定是比常人还要强烈的漂泊之心。

2:06:34 | 写入日志 | 碎片

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	小西发表: (^__^) 嘻嘻…… 10 月 30 日
	周培玲发表: 独在异乡为异客，说实话，城市总会给人孤独感。 8 月 21 日
	yaoyinhua发表: 同意楼上的。因为工作太忙的关系，没有时间和路路MM一起聊天。转眼你又长大了一岁。人生还有长长的路要走，这个过程谁都有开心、疲惫、清醒和困惑的。如果没有这种种的感觉，是不是这人生就没有味道了呢？：） 9 月 12 日
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	LeeRobert发表: 飘飘何所似，天地一沙鸥 8 月 18 日
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	妖精冷冷发表: ... 8 月 6 日
	y.annie发表: 除了自己，没有人会给自己安全感。你太在意周围的一切，太重感情，所以，注定要有太多的伤感。学会不在意一切吧。也许等过些年，你会比我更清楚这个道理的。 8 月 2 日

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